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This user has reviewed 3 games. Awesome! You can edit your reviews directly on game pages.
Assassin's Creed®: Director's Cut

Worst ScienceFiction Best HistoryFiction

I refuse to call this franchise anything else as long as Absurdgo and anything else about the future are involved. As a parallel, I recently described Ronald Emmerich's Moonfall to my parents thusly: "The Moon falls to Earth, and is a fake made by aliens."; they vehemently agreed that the premise is much better without the Moon being fake. This habit some creatives have of crowding their own good ideas with too many additional ideas never yields good results and the entire Asscreed franchise is a premium example. The main selling point is the exploration of historical settings first and foremost; there's also the conflict between orderly Templars and freedom-y assassins, which are all too often but not always burdened with the simple morality of mustache-twirlers. Asscreed 1 had the advantage of being written from the ground-up to question the player's perception of morality. Every target swears on their dying breath that they were in the right and some very well might have been while others definitely weren't. The player even makes friends with an invader and proceeds to finish the story by confronting a double agent. Even without a solid story like that, the setting of 12th Century Israel is enough to make this a keeper. But just like Moonfall, the Ancient Aliens brain-rot scourge simply must pollute. Every game's marketing is smartly tight-lipped about the (although recently diminished) framing device that you're not actually playing as a sneaky killer in historical settings, you're playing as bland schmuck Desmond (or a nameless Absurdgo employee, then a lesbian) who is playing as a sneaky killer. It gets worse of course, because the alleged historical accuracy is founded on the shameful hack-science known as "genetic memory". The myth that we only use 10% of our brains (it's actually 10% at a time for you normies, and probably around 12% for me) is because we're totally storing the memories of our ancestors. All this really means to me is that the story will rudely tear me out of the game so that a mad scientist will nag me in a sterile lab.

Beyond: Two Souls

David Cage At His Worst

If you like stories that zig-zag randomly between the past and future, Beyond Two Souls might ruin the idea. In addition to simply being hard to fallow, it's an effort to hide blatant contradictions like Jodie being 2 wildly different types of teenagers in the span of a year. Willam drops her off at a non-friend's birthday party because she's shy and "should make friends". They underage drink and use trashy witch-trial thinking to lock her in a closet; Aiden, the ghost tethered to her since birth, can unload an unhealthy dose of violent catharsis including a kitchen fire and knife into Alistair/Wheatley's shoulder. Later, Jodie is somehow now a rebellious punk who loudly despises Willam and lies to sneak out of the high-security facility to meet her "friends" at a bar. They aren't there, but Aiden has another violent spree with attempted rapists at the bar getting dead (Make the bartender take a shotgun to the mouth!) while Jodie cries in fetal position on the pool table. I later learn that I could have left the bar, but it only becomes available after I failed to get caught and gave up on trying to leave. These "friends" aren't confirmed as the partiers, but I see no other reason for this sudden change in personality than their influence and that itself seems impossible with that closet garbage. Even worse is Jodie being conscripted by a sleazy government stooge and her reasonable objection is dismissed as "teenage angst"; later, she's at odds with Aiden because he ideally tries to ruin her date with the stooge. She gave into Stockholm, I guess; but the main takeaway is that David Cage had all these ideas of the kinds of trouble that a girl with powers would face but he's too pretentious to understand that some personality traits contradict each other.

58 gamers found this review helpful