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This user has reviewed 34 games. Awesome! You can edit your reviews directly on game pages.

Created on 13 June, 2026 21:52

It could have been a zen game

Ballance is a physics-based game where you guide a ball along a tricky surreal track somewhere high in the sky. Sometimes you are allowed and sometimes you're forced to change the material the ball is made of - paper can float on air jets created by fans, stone can push heavy obstacles, and wood is the default material. The authors have obviously set themselves a goal of creating a unique experience, and they succeeded. However, that doesn't automatically mean they created a perfect game. Ballance is about patience, precision, and planning. Slow and steady wins the race here, and you should think thrice before you make a move. The sound effects and especially the micro tunes in the game evoke a meditation and monasteries on mountain tops. So far so great. The gameplay isn't in compete sync with the above though, and you can't really call it frustration-free. On some occasions, you have to make blind choices resulting in life losses, and the final part of the final level requires more luck than skill. It tries to motivate you with high scores and a timer. The score factor didn't work for me (if I replay a puzzle game, it's because I want to return to the wow discoveries, not speedrun it) - and I lost quite a lot of lives under time pressure only to find out in the last level that the only thing the timer does is influence the score - if it runs down to zero, nothing happens! The controls are solid while you're rolling the ball. In the air, though, because of the minimalist graphics, you have no reference points to find out at which speeds you're moving along which axes, and before you find out, you're often falling to your death. If this was fixed, if it was clear from the beginning that the role of the timer is just cosmetic (or there was no timer at all) and you could freely move the camera around the level, so that you could actually plan your strategy instead of just guesstimating, it woud really be a relaxed, zen affair that you would experience at your own pace. Maybe. Because for whatever reason, my main problem with the game was that in about the final quarter (except the monorail - that's something to look forward to, as it's awesome!), it didn't really feel like a game anymore; in the end, completing it felt more like ticking off a chore.

Created on 02 January, 2026 06:43

Funny and uncompromisingly stylish

Wow, I thought they didn't make games like this anymore! Guns, Gore & Cannoli is a funny "jump'n'gun" platformer with a clear vision, lots of style, and refreshingly dark humor. You play Vinnie Cannoli, a 1920s gangster on a mission in Thugtown, which is suffering from... a zombie outbreak! So you'll be fighting zombies (e.g., apart from generic zombie citizens, there are zombie policemen, zombie strippers/dominatrices, zombie American football players, etc.), other gangsters, and also the U. S. Army, which stands between you and what you want - and, as the main protagonist says, "If they're not a part of the solution, they're a part of the problem." Main positives: + It's just fun to play! You can see how much effort has gone into variability of the game's tempo (segments with demanding precision fights interspersed with shorter, wilder ones, sometimes just rewarding you with chain-exploding many enemies just for the silly fun of it), different backgrounds and environments, and each weapon having its place in your arsenal. + The graphics are comics-stylized, and each and every element is imbued with humor, slightly or less slightly exaggerating various period or genre clichés. + Period-ish soundtrack. There's nothing like killing hundreds of zombies to the sound of a merry swing tune! + Clearly set goals - the game wants to put playability on top, be funny, and stick to its 1920s parody theme. And that's exactly what it does. Some negatives: - Just like I'm happy that there's no overpowered weapon in the game, in many segments I had a feeling that they were designed for one particular weapon to be used. The mechanic of having to find the right weapon for the situation just stood out a bit too much. - Switching fast between 9 different weapons isn't easy - you inevitably make mistakes trying to press the right key, so in the end I just cycled through them, even though it costs slightly more time. Also, changing weapons takes some time, and while you're doing it, you're a sitting duck. - My biggest gripe is the semi-random nature of the enemy spawns. In some places, you always get the same enemies, while in others, the game surprises you with different enemies in both strength and count. Here, the variability/randomness is one or two notches too much. I played the game on the Impossible difficulty, and quite often it happened that a randomly placed enemy pretty much meant having to start that segment again because there wasn't a gangster's chance in a zombie-infested neighborhood/house/room to get out of the situation alive. But well, even though the game isn't perfect, it hasn't happened to me for a while that I played a game for more than 24 hours straight. On the highest difficulty it can be very challenging, but you can see your learning curve, and most importantly, you always have fun.

Created on 27 December, 2025 11:27

Monty Python and the (Un)Holy Game

At the end of the holy war, our heroine is disappointed. She can't murder anyone anymore! So when she finds out that Heavenly Peter, the archvillain of the North, escaped, she decides to find and kill him. The Procession to Calvary is a sequel to Four Last Things, and it's one of those rare sequels that actually do everything better than their predecessors. The graphics are again composed of classical renaissance paintings (and the paintings as such are key to solving three of the puzzles), the soundtrack is again made of recordings of classical music in public domain, and onscreen, it is again played by musicians inserted into the picture sometimes in a completely crazy and sometimes very organic way. The game still follows the formula "The humor is dialed to eleven, a lot of the stuff is bizarre, but puzzles strictly make sense". And while they mostly just made sense in the first game, here they are simply done right. Some of the puzzles here are the kind of mult-stage puzzles that give you a sense of accomplishment once you figure them out. Obviously, there was a lot of testing done prior to the game's release, as exactly at the spots where some of the solutions are bordering unintuitive, there's a hint to the solution either in your character's reaction to an item or a surrounding dialogue. Also, the humor is now more general and not directed strictly at churches and religions. And there are less characters whose sole reason to exist in the game is just a funny comment on their looks (which became kinda tiresome after a while in the first game). Plus, once again, there's a nod to Monkey Island. The game's about two times bigger than Four Last Things and took me about 4.5 hours to solve. One non-spoiler hint for you: The game has 3 different endings, so I recommend saving just before you confront Heavenly Peter. To sum it up: One-in-a-million idea, great humor, some great puzzles. A fair rating would be about 4.5 stars, but 5 stars are something I reserve for stuff that oozes absolute perfection. So very, very strong 4 will have to do.

3 gamers found this review helpful

Created on 27 December, 2025 10:34

Beautifully bizarre (b)adventure

Four Last Things is a humorous point-and-click adventure about a guy who wants to confess his sins and get absolution, but the dudes in the local church have a strict rule of absolving only the sins committed in their parish. So yeah, they will entertain his request, but only if he commits the seven deadly sins again on their turf. The entire graphics are made of classical renaissance paintings enhanced with crazy animations in Monty Python style. Likewise, the soundtrack is made of recordings of classical music in public domain. In each of the game's "rooms", there actually are some musicians playing that particular piece, and our hero can hum along and even praise the musicians. Which sums up the beautifully silly, yet witty humor of the game. The "Church'n'religion are baaad, mmmkay" attitude is a bit tiresome towards the end, but I knew what I was buying, so complaining about it would be unfair. The humor may be nonsensical at times, but the puzzles are not. The inner logic of the puzzles always makes sense (and on the one occasion when I didn't know the how-to, the character just committed one of the sins just by the way during a dialogue). The dev is obviously a fan of Monkey Island (there's even a mention of a three-headed monkey). There are some multi-stage puzzles and some timed puzzles as well, but I never really got seriously stuck in the game. It's on the shorter side - I solved it in about 2.5 hours in one go. Overall, I'd rate the game with 3.5 stars (while its sequel, The Procession to Calvary, is kinda 4.5 stars for me), but it definitely is above average, is based on an ingenious idea, and I had a lot of fun with it, so 4 it is.

Created on 26 December, 2025 07:31

Nice idea ruined by imprecise controls

I am a hardcore gamer, and I rarely leave games unfinished, but Blackhole, in spite of all of its positives, is a game I don't intend to return to. It's an arcade puzzle platformer where you need to fix a ship but that crashed-landed in a black hole (there's an inner logic explanation of it in the game). You have to collect a special substance, which - what a nice coincidence - also contains some nanobots that will help you fix the ship. Getting the substance requires solving a puzzle (figuring out how to get it, mostly using gravity-changing walls) and precise execution. I can't really tell you more, as I'm leaving the game after 11 out of its 90+ levels. The good bits: funny, comics-styled graphics, soundtrack (I had bought it on Bandcamp before I even bought the game), and the slightly crazy AI that guides the hero through the game. Based on the trailer, I was really looking forward to playing the game. The bad bit: the controls / game design. The controls just aren't precise enough for me to feel in control of the main character. I love a good challenge. But when it happened to me for the third of fourth time that I just couldn't tell whether I'm just not executing my chosen strategy well enough or I'm just trying something that will never work, I realized it wasn't a challenge but just bad design. It may not bother if you play the game just casually, as it's enough to collect just one piece in each level, but if you play the game for the challenge and want to sweep every level clean, you'll run into this problem time and again. And well, game stores are full of games with physics-based puzzles.

Created on 20 December, 2025 16:15

ScubaVenture: The Search for Pirate's Treasure

Sub-par even for its time

ScubaVenture is an underwater adventure about getting a fabled treasure from the wreckage of a pirate ship. On your way, you'll meet with all kinds of hostile fauna, rival divers, and ghosts! In each of the 8 levels, you have to find a special treasure before you're allowed to move on. Having a Commodore 64 on my table, I always review games having their time of origin in mind. But as I actually remember gaming in those times, I'm sad to say that ScubaVenture was below average even back then. It was developed by Apogee just to get rid of their contractual duties to Softdisk, and it shows. The one good thing I can say about the game is that it has got OK graphics - stylish, imbued with a sense of humor. Other than that, it's rather on the short side (I completed it in about 5 hours, mostly because of the hardcore die-and-restart-a-level attitude - a net playthrough lasts slightly below an hour), has only bleepy sound effects, and average level design. But the biggest problem is the pacing. One of the key mechanics is the oxygen, which you can replenish at oxygen geysers. However, said geysers release a bubble of oxygen only now and then, so you have to get there and then wait... and wait... and wait. A few times, the semi-random nature of this meant that even though I stopped at a geyser only to play it safe, I died because it didn't release the bubble. Same for the enemies. Sometimes, you need to lure them away from a certain place and then outswim them back to it. But as the enemies mostly move very slowly, having them follow you is very tedious, as once again, most of the time you just have to wait for them. If I hadn't had a soft spot for oldies, I would never have forced myself to complete the game, because such a large part of it is only about waiting. Had it been released about 5 years earlier, it might have been a decent game. But in 1993, even the PC (which wasn't the best gaming machine by a large mile at that time) already had games like Prince of Persia (1989) or Apogee's own Commander Keen (1990) and Duke Nukem I (1991). Of course, if ScubaVenture was one of the first games you got to play as a kid, just disregard my rambling and have fun! Otherwise, there are many other, much better good old games from the same period available here on GOG.

1 gamers found this review helpful

Created on 20 December, 2025 15:16

Santa with a machine gun? Yeah!!!

No More Snow isn't an AAA game. It's not even a BBB game. Yet it put a wide grin on my face, and I'm sooo happy that I bought this love letter to the arcade games of yore (think Commando or Who Dares Wins) with a humorous Christmas twist. First, Krampus tries to ruin Christmas, and Santa (or maybe St. Nicholas) must stop him and his minions. Then there are two add-ons. In the first one (my favorite part), Krampus attacks Mr. and Mrs. Claus while they are vacationing on a tropical island, and then he tries to conquer the world on Halloween. The graphics are a bit on the low-poly side but stylish. The enemies are mostly winter/Christmas-themed. There are reindeers, elves, several kinds of snowmen, etc. The snowmen are my favorite, especially the tropical snowman armored with a log, and... the zombie snowman! The zombie snowman perfectly illustrates the game's vibes: hey, let's just have some silly shooting fun for its own sake! Each level dutifully culminates with a badass boss. The music consists of several themes, often hinting to Christmas carols arranged in a darker style, fitting the ironic nature of the game. Santa's arsenal consists of about 15 weapons: e.g., an axe, a katana, and a shovel for melee combat, and pretty much everything from a shotgun through a machine gun through a flamethrower to a laser rifle on the firearm side. There are no bells and whistles. Each of the game's segments starts with a short animation introducing the X-Mas/summer/Halloween theme and ends with another short animation of Krampus's defeat. The game is even true to its inspiration in that after you finish the Halloween part, it just loops back to Christmas, like 1980s' video games did. My only gripe would be about the non-rebindable keys, as I've never felt comfortable with WASD. I completed No More Snow after about 6 hours of giving hell to snowmen on the highest difficulty, and it didn't overstay its welcome. This solo-dev affair knows exactly what it wants to do - and does it spot-on. It's simple, it's challenging, and - last and foremost - it's fun. At least I had a blast.

2 gamers found this review helpful

Created on 20 December, 2025 08:12

The game lies about its theme

This is going to be the most bizarre review I've written on GOG so far. I like the plot, I appreciate the high quality graphics and nude scenes, I like the writing, yet I'm giving the game an under-average rating. Because it lies about its theme. The good bits: There's one of the better storylines out of those that you can find in adult visual novels. The writing is solid and witty. Even in the sex scenes. While many other AVN games fall flat because their descriptions of sex becomes repetitive, here most of the scenes have a unique touch. And very good graphics. And now the bad part... Yeah, there are some decisions in the beginning that may lock you out of a good ending about 10 hours later, but that's probably what some people even appreciate about visual novels. What I can't tolerate, though, is how the game tries to hide its theme. It was obviously developed for a niche sex segment, and once it turned out it was good enough to sell in higher quantities, the text was lazily find-and-replace-ed. As GOG won't let me write the actual word, let's just say that it's about sex within family. In the beginning, I was confused by that "landlady" always makes breakfast for her "tenants". I was even more confused by that the main character was afraid that his "landlord" would send him to a military academy. And why on Earth should the characters feel that it's wrong to have sex "with my own roommate" (fun fact: each of the characters has their own room; so they are not really roommates) or feel attracted "to my own tenant"? I can be a bit slow at times, so I only realized what was going on when the main character's younger "roommate" asked him to sleep with her in one bed, just like they used to when they were kids. That's not tenant stuff. Later, I found more proofs, because of the lazy editing. E.g., at one point it turns out that the main character has the same surname as his "landlady", there are characters who got "married and had tenants", and - my favorite - there's the expression "tenant of a b-tch". So, if the story and some dialogues / inner thoughts feel odd to you: "household" = "family", "landlady" = "mother", "tenant" = "child/son/daughter", "roommate" = "sibling/brother/sister", "neighbor" = "aunt". I forced myself to play through the game because I was interested in how the plot with the ancient book and dream shards would resolve, but I couldn't enjoy the otherwise nicely done scenes because the relations bothered me. This just doesn't float my boat. I appreciate the production values, but I feel deceived by the developer. If I had known what the game was about, I would have never bought it.

12 gamers found this review helpful

Created on 28 June, 2025 09:35

Updated on 28 June, 2025 10:07

Early Amanita in a nutshell

Amanita Design and their games are something of a cult, and this is how the cult started - with a 6-screen flash (before the remaster) game, in 2003. Well, I'm not sure if you can really call Samorost a game. You just search for hotspots on the screen and more or less randomly click on them until one brings progress in the story (which is about preventing an asteroid from colliding with your hero's home). On the other hand, it's playful and creative. Some of the puzzles' solutions will put a smile on your face, or you'll just go, "Oh, nice." Where Samorost excels are the sound and graphics departments. They create a unique, kind of endearing atmosphere. That's pretty much Amanita's trademark. They regularly collect awards for visuals and sound in their games. One thing to appreciate is that Amanita has managed to evolve with the times. While initially it sustained them to be just different and unique, they realized it couldn't last them forever, so their later titles like Creaks actually get some interesting gameplay on top of the artistic (sometimes perhaps artsy) beauty. Don't look for any of that here, though. But you know what? It's a freebie that you can complete in a few minutes - so try it out for yourself, and if you like it, you're pretty much guaranteed to like their later works, too (perhaps with the exception of Samorost 2).

1 gamers found this review helpful

Created on 04 June, 2025 18:17

Updated on 04 June, 2025 19:10

A hentai game with actual gameplay? Yes!

Back in 2015, dating simulators were deader than a zombie shot through the head, and many hardcore gamers - including me - would "never, like ever", consider playing a match-3 on their desktop. And bang, HuniePot crossbred these two and created one of the best adult games I've ever played. What's the secret? The polished, carefully balanced gameplay. This is the unicorn of a hentai game that actually has a strong game element to it. You might buy it for the naughty pictures, but you'll end up playing it for the challenge. You are this shy nerdy gamer who's absolutely impossible around girls, until one day, you meet a love fairy in a bar, and she just insists on helping you become a babe magnet. The game's light-hearted humor just adds to it being so much fun. One part of the gameplay is a dating sim - you earn girls' affection through presents, remembering stuff about them, and showing you're their soul mate. The dates themselves are increasingly more difficult games of match-3, for which you buy power-ups for the two in-game currencies - affection (Hunie) and money (Munie). Finding the right power-ups for your play style and learning to wait with some moves to execute a fat combo later are key. There are 12 dateable girls, including two unlocked through specific chains of actions (I recommend looking it up in the internet, as it's nowhere near intuitive). Each girl has her own distinctive personality, which is always just one or two notches overdone, in line with the game's sense of humor. Add great graphics, some really nice tunes, and a just-about-right learning curve, and you've got a game that theoretically shouldn't exist but actually does, doing a great job at what it decided to do. Why only 4 stars then? Because I would have loved the story to have an ending, because unlocking the two extra girls is totally unintuitive, and because the game slightly overstayed its welcome with me. Still, it's easily one of top 3 H games you can find out there.

3 gamers found this review helpful

1 / 4

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